What it's actually like at a Deep Dating event
Our co-founder, Marianne, shares her first-hand experience at a conscious dating event in Berlin.
Earlier this year, a friend convinced me to go with her to a dating event at a bar in Mitte. We each paid 20€ for the tickets and arrived at the event feeling a bit anxious, but at least we had each other. To our dismay, the event offered zero facilitation or guidance, we were simply thrown into a room full of single people nervously making superficial conversation. When I shared my experience with other friends, they opened up about their own experiences at dating events and unfortunately they all resembled mine. Every friend I spoke to shared that they had left feeling a mix of disappointment and self-loathing after attending one of these.
It was really starting to feel like the organizers behind dating events were putting little to no effort into the design and flow of the evening so I decided dating events were simply not for me.
And yet, when the opportunity to attend a Deep Dating event arose, I decided to give it one more shot to see if Deep Dating offered a different approach.
Starting with Intention
I love meeting new people and am a hopeless extrovert, however, when I arrived at Deep Dating I noticed I felt nervous. I wasn’t sure what to expect and the idea of spending 4 hours being vulnerable with total strangers suddenly felt daunting. I now know that almost everyone in the room felt the same way which is why the facilitation at Deep Dating played such an essential role in guiding us into presence and ease.
On this occasion, the facilitator was coach and facilitator Andrej Liebemann who helped us navigate the evening with care and grace, allowing us to feel safe to really be ourselves and share openly on vulnerable topics.
The evening started with a simple sharing circle where we each said our names and intentions for the evening. The opening circle established trust among all of us there and allowed us to venture into the evening feeling a bit more at ease and comfortable with ourselves and each other.
Playful Dating
In stark contrast to the last dating event I had attended, Deep Dating was a thoughtfully designed journey featuring exercises that each had a purpose and slowly allowed us to get to know each other on a deeper level.
One of the first exercises we practiced was a partner exercise where one of us led and the other followed as we danced to an upbeat song. The effect of this partner exercise was twofold: one it invited us into our bodies and out of our heads, and two it made dating playful and fun, which sadly isn’t always the case.
How to say no
An experience from that evening that has really stayed with me until now was a consent exercise we practiced towards the beginning of the evening. Here’s what it looked like: We lined up in two rows with men and women facing each other (this event was specifically designed for men interested in meeting women, and women interested in meeting men). The women were prompted to ask the men for various requests and the men were instructed to reply “no” regardless of the request. We later switched roles.
This exercise helped us get comfortable with saying “no” and even more importantly for me, it got us comfortable with asking for what we want. As a chronic people-pleaser it felt super liberating to ask for what I wanted and express my desires openly in a dating context instead of always putting the other person’s needs and desires above my own.
Deep Dating
The last part of the evening was where we were really able to get to know the other participants one-on-one. At this point, we had all interacted with one another a fair bit so sitting down for individual “dates” felt both safe and exciting. This section of the evening mimicked the structure of speed dating, so all participants got to go on mini “dates” with each other. What made the experience unique was that each date involved a different prompt. Whether it was sharing on a specific topic or using a rose to caress the other person, each date looked totally different.
As the evening came to a close, the energy in the room had completely transformed. A room that had been full of nerves and unease only a few hours prior was now filled with laughter and new connections.
One of the things that inspired me the most about deep dating was that it wasn’t just an event for single people to meet and explore new connections, but truly a modern dating workshop preparing us to go out into the real world equipped with a whole new dating toolbox to help us let go of performativity and be more open-minded, authentic daters moving forward.
About Deep Dating
Deep Dating was created by Amsterdam-based Dating & Intimacy Coach Anna Eden who had a vision for creating spaces where real connection feels natural. Her work blending conscious relating, embodiment, and tantra in a down-to-earth way shaped what Deep Dating events look like today. In Berlin, Deep Dating events are organized by Mike Carr whose passion for events that foster conscious connection led him to bringing Deep Dating to life in our city. Whether in Amsterdam, Rotterdam, or Berlin, each Deep Dating event is guided by experienced facilitators and coaches that create a supportive and effortless environment where you can be your most authentic self.
Upcoming events:
→ Deep Dating (German Edition) on Thursday, June 11th at Futura House in Kreuzberg
→ Deep Dating on Thursday, June 25that Futura House in Kreuzberg
→ Deep Date Night for Lovers on Sunday, June 28th at Future House in Kreuzberg
